Yesterday
by gypsyrin
Summary: Songfic. Rinoa leaves and Squall battles his emotions over the reasons she has given him. a sad Squinoa


**Disclaimer - I don't own Yesterday, The Beatles do, and alas I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or the characters, Square Enix does. Please Review!!**

* * *

_Yesterday,  
All my troubles seemed so far away,  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,  
Oh, I believe in yesterday_.

Silently the young man makes his way down to Balamb beach. It's awfully quiet, but that's not a surprise for the commander as today is one of the very few below freezing days Balamb has ever had. He stops as soon as he reaches the edge of the crystal clear water, and with a sigh he runs his gloved hand through his soft wavy brown hair. He can't help the feeling of sadness as it envelopes all of his senses and he drops his hand down to his back pocket to gently pull out a small piece of light pink paper. Once again he reads over her angelic hand written good-bye, his fingers trace over it and the small spots where her tears had fallen.

**'Squall Leonhart,**

**As you read this I'll be on the train headed for Timber, and then from their I don't know where I'll go. Promise me this one thing Squall, don't come after me this is my last order to you my knight. After our argument last night I know now that your not ready for a commitment. Your not ready for me, and I should have known this but I was to naive in the beginning. Please Squall take care of yourself.**

**Love always,**

**Rinoa Heartilly'**

_Suddenly,  
I'm not half the man I used to be,  
There's a shadow hanging over me,  
Oh, yesterday came suddenly._

Its as if she's taken a part of him with her, the one part that she tried so desperately to get him to show. Now, well, now there is no chance in hell he is going to let that part show ever again. Not until she makes her way home. He's not sure what their argument has to do with him not being ready for commitment but he knows, and he knew then, that was just how Rinoa's mind worked. She sensed things that Squall never wanted her sense, but he supposes thats one of the downfalls of dating a Sorceress. His heart feels empty as the word 'dating' crosses his mind and he cries out as he falls to his knees. He can't help the tears as they escape to cascade down his rosy cheeks.

_Why she  
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.  
I said,  
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday._

How had he ever thought love was going to be easy, especially when he couldn't even tell her those three simple words. Their simple of course to say to an animal or a family member, but when you say it to someone you consider to be your soul mate, well that's when it just seems to get a little complicated. He beings to curse himself, he had known it for the past year and not once had he ever said it. She told him countless times how she felt about him and all he ever gave her in response was a smile and a kiss. One time he even said thanks, luckily she had just chuckled and told him that he was welcome, but he had seen the small bit of pain in her eyes. Why couldn't they just go back to when things were a little more simple. She had seemed fine and happy with her life until yesterday. He slams his fists into the ground leans and leans his body forward so his forehead gently rests on the white sand of the beach.

_Yesterday,  
Love was such an easy game to play,  
Now I need a place to hide away,  
Oh, I believe in yesterday._

He can hear footsteps behind him, and he doesn't bother to look up and see who it is. They can just leave him alone, and for this small thing he hopes. The steps stop right beside him and whomever it is takes a seat and rests their hand on his shoulder. "Hey partner." Its Irvine's Galbadian drawl that causes him to look up. He's never heard this tone in the young sharpshooters voice before, the tone of understanding and equal pain. Then Squall remembers that Selphie had left him before with the same claims and a few more. Selphie had come back to him after only a few hours though. Rinoa had been gone for over 22 hours, and whatever hope the young commander had, died after the first 6 hours passed. "She's not coming back is she." he brings his hurt stormy grey gaze up to meet Irvine's crystaline blue stare. With a sigh, the cowboy slowly shakes his head, "I'm not sure." the look in his eyes says otherwise and Squall brings his knees up to rest his head against them. He feels like a child whose been abandoned. Hell it's like when Ellone left him at the orphanage many years ago, but the pain seems to be triple that.

_Why she  
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.  
I said,  
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday._

The two men sit on the beach for what seems like eternity before the commander abruptly stands and wipes the tears from his eyes. With a bit of shock strewn across his handsome features, Irvine stands and pushes his hands into the pockets of his beige duster. Without a word Squall turns and begins to walk back towards his only home. "I'm taking a vacation. Let Cid know, I'll call when I get wherever I'm going." He can feel the sharpshooters gaze on his back and he knows its what the other man expects. With a small sad smile he realizes the irony. The fight that Rinoa had mentioned in her letter had started because Squall hadn't taken a vacation all year and wasn't planning on taking one in the near future. His reason had been, that he was the commander of Balamb Garden and that was a full time job. It hadn't been the entire reason but it was still a reason. She had known otherwise. Now he finally realizes the truth behind her words, about how he was and is scared of commitment. He had been terrified of being alone with her, of letting himself fully love and appreciate her. He had been scared that she wouldn't love him after spending a few weeks alone with him. Once again the young commander wishes things could back to the way they used to be, to when he had felt whole whenever Rinoa would enter a room. Yet he knows that day will never come again, and so he will long for it whenever he thinks of her.

_Yesterday,  
Love was such an easy game to play,  
Now I need a place to hide away,  
Oh, I believe in yesterday._

_Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm._


End file.
